Nobody Said it Was Easy
by ImmortalWinchesters
Summary: *Clark Kent used to have a friend. No; Clark used to have a brother. Not a biological brother, but someone who was just like one. This friend had once even said to Clark that he was closer to him than any blood brother could be. That was proof that it didn't make a difference that they weren't technically related.* Clark reflects on his relationship with Lex. *NOT SLASH*


**A/N: Takes place after the Smallville episode Upgrade!**

* * *

_Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions_  
_ Oh let's go back to the start_  
_ Running in circles, coming up tails_  
_ Heads on a science apart_

_ Nobody said it was easy_  
_ It's such a shame for us to part_  
_ Nobody said it was easy_  
_ No one ever said it would be this hard_  
_ Oh, take me back to the start._

- The Scientist, Coldplay

* * *

**- Nobody Said it Was Easy-**

There was someone in Clark's past that he often thought about. There were some times he couldn't get this person off his mind and others where he pretended the friendship between them had never existed. Most days, this person and Clark's relationship with him crossed the Kryptonian's mind at least once.

Clark Kent used to have a friend. No; Clark used to have a _brother_. Not a biological brother, but someone who was just like one. This friend had once even said to Clark that he was closer to him than any blood brother could be. That was proof that it didn't make a difference that they weren't technically related.

This brother's name was Lex Luthor. They had an interesting relationship; the farmboy and the billionaire. Who would have expected that to have happened? Of course, it had been years since the two of them had been friends. Lex's darkness had overtaken him and the two of them had become enemies.

Clark wondered if there was any way he could have stopped that. Maybe if he would have just told Lex his secret. Maybe if he wouldn't have given up on Lex too soon. Maybe if he had just met Lex sooner. There were a lot of maybes, so many different ways things could have gone. Sometimes Clark wished he could go back in time and change the course of things. But he couldn't, so he was left with the thoughts in his head.

Clark had never necessarily _needed_ Lex, but there was always a piece of himself missing after the two of them became enemies. He tried not to address that missing piece, but it was impossible. He didn't tell anyone about this feeling inside and didn't plan on it. It was another one of his personal secrets. Just like Clark sometimes wished that one day Lex would walk in the farm and smile at him like he used to. They would laugh at something stupid and just be brothers again. But with all the problems they had that would never happen.

Besides, Lex had died; Oliver killed him in an explosion. Clark told himself that he was so against Oliver's action because it was against what he believed in. And it was true; Clark's beliefs on how people shouldn't kill were very strong. But deep inside, there was a little more to it than that. Clark hated the idea of his ex-best friend dead, despite the fact their friendship ending a very long time ago.

Today, Clark couldn't get Lex off his mind. He had decided to do something he hadn't done before this point: He visited Lex's grave. He decided that thinking and talking about his feelings here might help get Lex off his mind for a long time to come. Maybe it would help bring closure to their relationship…

The thing that had gotten Clark thinking about Lex so much was a response that he had given to Zod. The red Kryptonite he was on had brought out Clark's feelings at the moment. He remembered Zod's exact words and his own response…

"_You must have had a friend that you had a connection with, like you were opposite sides of the same soul."  
"Yeah, once. A long time ago."_

Zod had been talking about him and Jor-El and their friendship that had turned around on them. When Zod had asked him past tense if he had a friend like that, Clark immediately thought of Lex. The billionaire and the farmboy had indeed been like opposite sides of the same soul. Clark had been trying to ignore this specific fact before, but once he remembered the words leaving his lips, he knew he couldn't avoid the truth anymore.

Clark remembered always looking to Lex for advice on different things. He also went to Lex for help when he really needed it that only the billionaire could provide. That wasn't all though; Clark had gone to Lex's mansion to get away when things with his other friends or parents got complicated. The two of them would have a good time and it would provide Clark with an escape. The same went for Lex, who had come over when his father was in town several times.

Another thing that Clark liked about being friends with Lex was the side of the billionaire that he could bring out. Lex wasn't exactly carefree and easy to make smile. He had to be confident and tough with people. That was the image he needed to portray to the public. However around Clark, Lex was different. Clark could make the littlest mistakes and say very few words and still managed to get Lex to smile. Clark had also been able to make Lex laugh and become more carefree. There were very few people who knew of the times Lex had played basketball with Clark at the farm. Even less knew about the times they had watched movies and laughed at each other's reactions to stupid things that had happened. There were some times no one knew about, which were such happy memories, Clark tried to suppress them from his head. Times Lex could act younger and feel like he didn't have a worry in the world. Clark had never noticed that side of Lex after they had been friends. Clark knew that Lex never had experiences like that with anyone but him.

Clark wished that more people had seen that side of Lex Luthor, but at the same time he liked that he was the only one who knew about it. It created a level of understanding between the two of them. It made their friendship all the more special.

There were times that Clark had seen his friend after he seemingly disappeared. When Clark and Lex were stuck in some tunnels together they had to really address each other and their past for the first time since they had stopped being friends. Clark remembered some of the things they had said clearly…

"_Were we ever really friends Lex?"  
"I don't know. I have nothing to compare it to. You were the only real friend I ever had Clark."_

Clark had known inside him that the two of them had been friends, but he was angry at Lex and everything was so complicated that he had to ask. Lex's response had created some guilt inside Clark. He had stared wide-eyed at Lex upon that revelation. He didn't real know what to say. As Lex went on, rubble had fallen on top of Clark. There was Kryptonite down there and Clark wasn't able to get out. When Lex had sprinted away, Clark thought he was done for.

Less than a couple minutes later, while Clark was attempting to push off a giant piece of rubble from on top of him, it had lifted. But not because of him, because of Lex, who had returned with a rod to help get the piece off of Clark. Lex asked Clark if he really thought he'd let him die alone down there. When Lex had saved him, Clark saw something in his eyes. He saw his old best friend. Upon seeing that, he hadn't stopped wondering if he'd given up on Lex too soon. And if Clark was honest, he probably had.

Clark remembered another key time during the rivalry of the two former best friends: After Lex had learned Clark's secret and the two of them were in the fortress. Lex was about to place the orb into the glowing console when Clark arrived. Clark tried to convince Lex not to do it, but was told that the billionaire had to do this to save the world. As much as Clark wanted to blame Lex, he had no idea where he had gotten this information. Lex had truly believed that Clark would turn on the world and was really trying to save it.

When the Fortress of Solitude began to collapse, Clark thought Lex would just leave him there and make his own attempt at escaping. But that isn't what happened. Lex had come over to Clark, lifted him in his arms, looked him in the eyes and said…

"_I love you like a brother, Clark. But it has to end this way. I'm sorry."_

Maybe Lex had just been accepting what he thought was his destiny. But somehow, Clark knew there was more to it than just that. Lex wasn't going to let Clark die alone. As he had said, Lex loved Clark like a brother and as much as it seemed like he would, Lex wouldn't leave his brother behind. The two of them would always have that history haunting them. Lex still cared about Clark after all that time. Despite the fact that Lex had almost killed Clark, the farmboy had always held onto what the billionaire had said. It made him miss the easier days when they were best friends. It made him wish more than ever that things could have turned out differently between them.

Yes, the two of them had a complicated history. Yet for some reason since Lex had died, the better parts of their relationship had come across Clark's mind more often than the bad. Maybe that was because it was the Lex he wanted to remember and _would_ always remember.

Finally, Clark spoke to the grave, "Years ago, you told me our friendship would be the stuff of legend… and it was. Of course, that legend didn't end with us being friends, but instead enemies. Some might say that the legend of our friendship is awful because of its ending. But, a lot of legends don't have happy endings. In fact, a lot of them end terribly. And those ones aren't bad, are they? I don't know as many legends as you did, but in my opinion, some of the best legends are the ones that end in tragedy."

Clark paused for a moment, staring at Lex's grave like it might start talking back to him. Of course it didn't, so he continued, "I guess since our legend ended badly, it makes the memories of when we were friends even more precious. Despite me trying, I won't forget our friendship and those years we spent smiling and laughing with each other. I really miss you Lex. I loved you like a brother too and I miss those times when you were alive and we were close. I guess what I just wanted to say was… Goodbye Lex."

Clark closed his eyes for a moment, trying to control the overflow of emotions that had suddenly consumed him. There was so much sadness, anger, grief, regret and somehow he was also almost smiling. He wore a small smile because of the memories that he would remember forever. Clark let a single tear escape his eye and flow down his cheek. Then he regained his composure and turned away from the grave.

Maybe if they saw each other on the other side, Clark and Lex wouldn't be enemies. Maybe Lex wouldn't be evil there and they could find that common ground. Maybe the image of the two of them being brothers again wasn't impossible.

And maybe that was just an extreme amount of wishful thinking.


End file.
